I am procrastination personified
I’m fed up with my lack of focus, concentration, my procrastination and, worst of all, my tendency to be distracted. Somehow my writing has become something to be avoided. How bad is that? I love writing. But I realise I’m trying to write in a style that’s not mine. I talk about why further on.
Recently I moved my free hosted blog to a self hosted one. The wonderful people at wpbeginner.com helped by doing it for me for free. A big shout out to them.
I chose a theme similar to my old one which I loved, tested it on my family and they liked it. It gave me a sense of achievement.
So with my new site comes lots of new plug-ins. I thought I’d read something about them. This led to me reading loads of stuff that did me no good whatsoever. One article lead to another to another…….. and bam! Suddenly two days had gone past and I hadn’t written a single word.
Did I learn anything new?
I seemed to read a lot of stuff that seemed familiar. I’m sure I’ve read it all before.
In amongst all the stuff I’ve read about blogging, during my many periods of distraction, there are so many articles that tell you how to blog. Those that say ‘how to make $10,000 a month from blogging’ I always ignore. But there are many that tell you your readers are looking for you to solve a problem they may have.
This is all well and good, and I know that I have taken away the odd tip or trick for good blogging. But what I really want to give my readers is something that resonates with them, something they can relate to. If that helps them solve a problem they are grappling with then that’s amazing. But I don’t set myself up as some sort of guru dispensing life changing solutions to the world.
The problem has been that I’ve been trying to write pieces that offer solutions to problems, leading me to write in a different way. This is what I meant by a style that’s not my own. I really don’t like that. Before I do any thing else, I must find my way back to myself.
I think about writing all the time. I get frustrated, anxious and totally stressed if I don’t write. That means I write less because I’m anxious. Those of you with chronic anxiety will know how paralysing this can be.
So why am I not writing?
Honest answer? I just don’t know. Every so often, probably to do with the phases of my mental and physical state, I just can’t.
If maybe, I was selling something that people want and which would help with various problems that would be different. But I’m not. The only thing I’ve got to give is me and my writing.
Other advice about this problem solving, is to set out in the opening paragraphs what the problem is and how you propose to solve it.
Well look at my first paragraph, I’m telling you what my problem is, I don’t know whether it will interest you, resonate with you, or you move on because it’s a load of rubbish!
All I can do is write what I think, how I see things and hope that somebody else can take something away which will help them.
Then I read a post from one of my favourite bloggers about finding more clarity in our lives. It made me realise that was the thing I was lacking clarity. Do read his post. It can be found at https://wp.me/pb5hV9-gE
The first thing I want to do is empty my head. I have cluttered it up with so much stuff I can’t see the wood from the trees (cliched I know but there we are). To do this I have to make time in my day to breathe, think, and maybe read a book that is nothing to do with writing
I’m a a great organiser. This may sound contradictory to all of the above, but believe it or not I love to write lists, keep a diary, anything like that. It somehow makes me feel better. So the next job is to organise my week. Just a simple Evernote weekly calendar should be enough. If it’s too complicated or unrealistic then it’ll spike my anxiety
I am not a particularly self-centred person, but self care is very important for me to be able to continue to live as well as I can with my disability. MS is a strange condition, symptoms can vary from day to day. If I become too tired I have to stop. It’s a disease that loves to give payback.
I seem to remember writing a similar post to this sometime in the recent past, giving tips on how to live with chronic illness. It’s a pity I don’t take my own advice.
So, breathe, think, write. That’s my latest advice to myself. I need to get back to what I love most. Writing.
Be kind to one another and keep safe.