I seem to have been unreasonably busy the last few weeks, and yet when I think about it I’m not exactly sure why. Since I don’t really go out in February (or any cold time) I can hardly be said to be rushing about!! I have had a lot of visitors. Some have been MS related – occupational therapists, neurology nurses and the like – but I have had friends calling which is lovely. There are two reasons for this, my youngest daughter has given birth to a beautiful baby boy who is 3 weeks old today and I’m in love! This has involved some trips out to the hospital for example, and to her house, and we have looked after her now 4 year old (as of yesterday) a few times. So all my friends have wanted to know all about that, mostly because they have known Claire all her life. So instead of being Mums Inc. we are now all Grandmothers United!
But there is another reason. I also have a 6 year old grandson with cancer, specifically in his liver. He was rushed into hospital a day or two after his sixth birthday. He was critically ill and it was touch and go for a while but he came through. He was subsequently diagnosed with hepatoblastoma, a rare childhood cancer, which does not present symptoms until fairly advanced. He is stage 4. He has had chemo and is waiting for a transplant. My friends have known Adele for most of her life too. So they’ve rallied round as true friends always do. My daughter is now gaunt and distraught. The worst thing is because of being wheelchair bound I have not been able to get to see her or my grandson, I find this totally soul destroying. Anyway, last night I made the decision to get to her in whatever way I can. This has been an emotional rollercoaster for the whole family. We find it difficult to talk about so I thought I’d get it off my chest here. I send big love and thanks to my friends.
This could explain why I feel I’ve been unusually occupied. Life is a funny thing. We feel like we are living two lives, one joyful and the other heartbreaking. I find it difficult to reconcile the cruelty and kindness life gives us. I’m not sure either if that is in equal measure either. But I am ever hopeful that everything will be ok. Remaining positive, for me, is the only way to live with what cruelties life throws at us.
Sorry if this post seems self-indulgent.